I know that I must be one of the luckiest women in the world because after being with Trevor for over 20 years (married for 15) he still makes my heart skip a beat when he walks in the room and my knees still weaken when he kisses me.
Trevor and I talk about everything, all day long. We are constantly texting and talking and we make time for each other at the end of every day by chilling out in the hot tub. We talk about everything; kids, bills, sex, our hopes and dreams. We have come to realize over the years that we are unlike many couples in that we can discuss anything with each other…anything. It’s not always easy but in the end we can talk about anything, even if we are worried that it might hurt the others feelings or if they might think we’re weird.
We are really great at making sure we have regular date nights. We probably have a date night at least 3 times month. Last weekend we had a date night at our favorite restaurant. And although we spend a lot of time at the same restaurant, it has surprisingly not gotten to the “Date Night” movie dullness yet. However, on Friday night I realized that we had sat several minutes without saying anything to each other and I couldn’t think of anything in particular to say. Aaaahhhh…panic mode. OMG have we hit that stage in our marriage? No, I’m sure we haven’t. Then why aren’t we talking? As my mind started to slip into craziness I thought to myself…ok, if I had sent someone out on this date night would they be sitting here staring at their plates, not talking to each other? Nope, my job when I create a date night for someone is to ensure that doesn’t happen. So I went into automatic date night creator mode and improvised on the spot. I pulled out my cell phone and looked up “Conversation starters for couples”. I found the first question I liked and just blurted it out. And there it was, the conversation was back on track. We passed the phone back and forth picking questions. Some were just quick answers and others generated lengthy discussions.
As our night came to an end we both noticed that the couple sitting next to us was really struggling to get through their meal together. From the looks of it, it appeared they’d probably been married for many, many years. They didn’t speak to each other all evening except when he asked about her dessert and mentioned the whip cream looked good. And when she snapped back at him the conversation quickly ended again. I was so tempted to lean over and hand them my phone or whisper some questions into her ear but thought I’d best mind my own business.
Marriages/relationships take a lot of work. You have to be willing to grow together and to communicate your fears, dreams and hopes.
How long have you and your other half been together? Do you struggle to find things to talk about, other than kids and bills? Do you make time for date nights?