I have been invited to a wedding this summer, I have been invited to many weddings in my life, and as a planner I go and ooh and ahh and enjoy every minute of it. Because I am celebrating with friends or family or both, and it is not my place to pick apart any one else’s personal affair, that I was not involved in planning. And believe it or not, we like a day off too, to just enjoy. So with trepidation I write this, hoping that couples can take away some advice and make a decision that is best for them.
So I haven’t technically received my invite yet. You see the couple chose to send email invites, not traditional pretty paper sent by mail invites…and so I haven’t got it yet, lost in cyber space, typo in the email address…they called to ask why I had not replied yet, as the RSVP date has come, well…no invite.
Do I think as a planner that an email invite is a bad idea for a wedding, well yes, I do. And here is why: Tactility – don’t underestimate the power of touch and feel and how it evokes emotion within people. Texture, colour, shape and size, in an invitation, tells a story, your story, about your love and of how you are coming together to celebrate your day, and share it with your guests.
Formality – a wedding is a formal occasion, you can try to keep it informal, you can sit on hay bails, in a barn, have potluck (bad idea too, but we will save that for another time) but sorry, it is still a formal affair, a union of two people pledging their love for eternity= formal. And formal = invitation, by mail.
Technological inept guests – everyone receives mail, not everyone on your guest list will have an email address to accept an invitation, my 90 year old grandparents for one, do not have email, and if I did not present them with a paper invite, my grandmother would tell me that it is shocking manners young lady!
Style and Theme – people will gather a sense of the occasion theme and style and what it represents about you as a couple when they get that invitation.
Technology blunders – my example, typo in the address, and I did not receive the invite, others get moved to junk mail, or spam mail, our security features filtering it for us. It sucks to not get the invite, and be able to plan properly in advance for the occasion whether it be booking accommodations, arranging travel or even babysitters.
Memories – people collect things, all different things, think of yourself even as the wedding couple, would it not be nice to have a copy of the paper invite in a memorabilia box, scrapbook, whatever, for years to come? Believe me, there will be family that feel the same way.
Personality – a paper invitation is hand addressed to a recipient, thereof infers a personal invitation to me, your guest, you made me feel special, and showed effort in inviting me.
So an email invite, ok for a birthday, an anniversary, a baby shower even, but not a wedding, please! A wedding is SPECIAL , it requires my time and money – Let me hold and save that invite.