Rachel and I were talking about fate and letting life happen today on our way back from a meeting today I realized that in the last year I have learned so much about myself since starting this company and I have really started to become the me I like alot more than who I was.
So first, let’s start with what I have learned about me. I have realized that I really am a control freak. Yup, that’s right, I’m a control freak. The funniest example of this discovery is that over the last year I have planned fun and out of your comfort zone events for many people, I have also been put in situations where friends have forced me out of my comfort zone for parties and let me tell you…I don’t like being on the receiving end of that. I have no problem telling others to let loose and try it but when it’s my turn to be out of control, I’m not happy about that. Trevor thinks it’s so funny because he sees me planning events and pushing people to do different things and then laughs so hard when we sees me freaking out about being out of my comfort zone. I truly am the planner. I am not a huge fan of parties, enjoy attending them but certainly love planning them way more. I love watching others try new things and making great memories.
I have also realized that thanks to the saying “Time and truth will tell all” that I have learned that I cannot control what life throws at me nor should I try. I always wanted to be the one who fixed everything, I always had to be right…not anymore. Now, if something doesn’t go my way or if something or someone is doing something they shouldn’t I just sit back and let it happen because I know in the end it will work itself out the way it should.
In the last year I have found my happiness again. Thinking back I realize that I was not as happy as I thought I was. I was angry at the world, always criticizing others and looking down on people. I don’t know where that came from or why it happened because I was always so happy and loving. I do remember at one point in my teenage years after a breakup with a longtime boyfriend that I realized I was tired of being walked all over so maybe that is where it started but in the last few years I know it has been really bad. In the last year I have found my old self again. I smile more, I feel more confident, and I accept people and situations for what they are.
Content is a really great place to be. It is such an amazing feeling to be in a great place in your life. I love my family, my home, our life. I am so lucky and grateful.