Oh wedding planning, how it brings out the best and worst in all of us. Family especially can really show their true colors when something like a wedding is being planned.
It always surprised me when hearing about various wedding plans and how so many people feel like their opinion should take precedent over the bride and groomʼs. There always seems to be one family member/ friend/ or in-law voicing, or should I say interfering with their opinion.
One of the first weddings I was involved in was the wedding of one of my best friends from high school. I was her MoH, her wedding singer, and MC. Lots to do! But we were so young and ambitious, it seemed practical at the time. Her wedding dream was a beach wedding in North Carolina so when it came down to wedding plans I was thinking sand and sun. What really happened was the wedding that her parents never had. I was shocked! “itʼs your wedding, why are you letting this happen?”
She felt, however, that since her parents were footing the bill then she didnʼt really have a say. This made me sad, when someone offers to pay for your wedding that does not make them your wedding planner. To my dismay, it wasnʼt her dream wedding.
This is a tale all too common with wedding plans. From in-laws paying for parts of the wedding on the condition that “you get this dress and not that one” to asking them to be involved by doing the bouquets (cause you know your soon-to-be mother-law loves flower arranging so you thought you would get her involved that way) and then finding out on the morning of your wedding that the bouquet arrangements were totally not what you wanted and the heather you specifically did not order and specifically did not want actually found its into the wedding bouquets and boutonnieres somehow…….?
I would like to know who it is out there that thinks that they have any right to interfere in anyone else’s decisions. Provide an opinion, make a suggestion, upon request…absolutely but the final call belongs to the person whose decision it is to make, and to totally go against what the bride and groom decided is so very disrespectful.
Weddings can also bring out the best in family. I never knew how much my little sister had my back until I started planning my wedding. We never used to get along very well, but as we both matured into adults we just kind of got past so much. Sheʼs always been there for me, like physically there. Many of my siblings travelled alot, and spending months/years living overseas, myself included. But she was always there when I came home. It was great. So when wedding plans began she was a natural choice for my bridal party. She stepped up big time, she was like my MoH in waiting. She kept the wedding party in check, she had bridal showers planned, helped the MoH with the bachelorette party, kept all the boys in line. She even took a whole week off work leading up the wedding to make sure she was there for me. We had a few last minute emergencies the night before and the morning of, and she just took care of it, like it was nothing. Now its her turn to get married this summer and she has asked me to be her MoH. I hope I can do half the job she did for me.
If you need a buffer between you and interfering in-laws and grizzly bridesmaids, as youʼll soon discover almost every bride needs, I would recommend hiring my sister as your MoH, but she already works full-time so she may not be available. However, we at ITM are available and can be there to protect you and your vision. Use us as your wedding planner. We like being used when it means that you are going to have the exact moment you always dreamed of. We would be happy to sit around the table with you at your next family meal and explain to your future mother-in-law that your wedding is not going to happen at the family farm because you are allergic to hay. And we are happy to tell your bride’s maid to back off when she insists on walking down the aisle with the third groomsman instead of the second as you have assigned. Having a buffer between yourself and the others is often useful in saving relationships you are going to have to manage for years to come. No sense losing that relationship over one day. We have thick skin and are happy to be the one to blame when your mother-in-law insists that you should have ordered the dark pink silk flowers she picked out and not the fresh, soft pink roses you always dreamed of having. You are our client and we want you to be happy and we are ok with making enemies with your in-laws as long as at the end of the day you can look us in the eye and tell us that it was exactly as you dreamed it would be.
Cheers to you and getting to know how weddings can bring out the best and worst in us all 🙂