I am married to a man who seldom drives me crazy. However, in the last year since I started this company he has driven me more crazy then not. He doesn’t believe in it. He has no vision, for anything not just this. It makes him crazy that I am spending the money I make at my other job on this company instead of “on the house”, paying off our debt faster. Let me tell you, I write a pay cheque to our household every two weeks just like everyone else does. My cheque is the same as his if not more. So for any of you guys reading this don’t freak out thinking I am now expecting to be supported, I give to the family too.
In my eyes anytime I would bring good news to him about making a profit on an event or breaking even on an event he would tear it apart and make me realize that I didn’t account for this or that. Then I’d feel crappy thinking I’d failed. You can imagine what that’s done for our relationship in the last year.
Well, today was the first time I realized that although I wish he’d maybe done it in a different way, he was right. I do need to account for all my costs including the gas it took to drive to the event and the cost of having my staff there and I do have to stop throwing in freebies to “perfect” the event.
Today I finalized a bill for a client and actually took the time to assess the profit on the event. I made enough profit on this event to pay my employee’s salary for the week! That is great news! What that tells me is that this is all possible, three or four events per month and I could be covering her monthly salary with In the Moment money instead of it coming out of my consulting money. That is fantastic! More money back in the house and my company is moving forward…win, win.
Now what does this realization mean for my marriage. It means that I have to be less jumpy and defensive when he points out that not everything is as peachy as I like to believe because he just might be making sense. However, he also has to learn to not tear down my happy moments because I have alot of them and I am working so hard at this and it is horrible when someone steps all over your dreams.
I think it is hard for him to understand because he already has his dream job and he gets paid well to do it and has benefits, etc. He has to understand that I don’t work my dream job on a daily basis and I know how short life is and I refuse to pretend to be happy just because we drive nice cars, have a nice house and we can travel. I love all those things, I love our life and I don’t want that to change. But I can’t be happy doing what I do every day. Since starting this company I feel like myself again. I am happy, I am confident, I smile almost all the time and I feel like I have something to talk about when we’re out with friends.
I used to think that your soul mate, your loved one, your better half was supposed to be the one who agrees with you and thinks you’re perfect. Then I read something somewhere that said that your soul mate’s job is to help you to be the best person you can be. They are there to challenge you to see yourself. And although he’s not great at it sometimes that’s what he’s doing, he’s challenging me to be the best damn business woman possible. He is pushing me to work harder to prove him wrong, he forces me to look at my business through open eyes instead of dreamy eyes.
But I think the joke’s on him because like I just said, I don’t think he realizes that he is actually pushing me to work harder and forcing this to be a success. So as much as he hates this right now, he’s going to have to learn to love it because it’s about to become my full time job 🙂
One last thing, I sure can’t wait for the day when he realizes exactly what I’ve accomplished and tells me how proud of me he is and really means it. 🙁