I’ve never been afraid to make a choice or a decision. It boggles my mind why I am finding this so tough. Since my last post I’ve done lots of talking with friends about options, reading lots of comments and supportive words and doing way too much thinking.
Two days later, here’s where I am at. In those two days I have had two contracts offered to me for the job I don’t want anymore. I have submitted my name for both secretly hoping neither would come through. I had a telephone interview for one today and determined I am not the right candidate because I can’t commit 30 hours a week. One fire out. Now the next one. I have paperwork I have to fill out and send in. I’m thinking I am not going to even fill out the paperwork.
Here’s the issue with that work. I have found a niche in the field. I take on small contracts when most consultants only want one full time contract. I have lots of little “on-call” contracts and I also do annual report updates and legislated publication updates that most consultants won’t touch. And honestly, I’m quite good at it. I think everything has gotten out of hand because those on-call contracts are my favorite but they don’t provide enough work to keep my bank account full. So, I have been accepting larger contracts as well which has made me not so available on-call and so I have been rushing from one job to the next and not doing a great job at any of them. Then to add on top of that, I am also building my company and accepting any event work that comes up. Oh…and I’m a mom and a wife too.
It’s giving me a headache just thinking about it.
I went for a run the other day. For the first time in ages. Last summer and the summer before I was running mini triathlons so which meant I was working out all the time. This summer I have done squat. I get up, drive to work, struggle through my day, leave work angry and frustrated, drive home, get as much work done as I can on my company before Trevor and the girls get annoyed, eat dinner with my family, and then try to sneak in few more hours of work, then go to bed.
I heard a song last night that talked about someone being told they were dying and how his life changed and he wished for everyone to be able to someday live like you were dying. That got me thinking, my day could be tomorrow. As things stand right this minute, I would leave this world miserable and thinking I’d not given my best to anyone who means anything to me. So it is time I start living like I am dying and enjoy every minute of it.
I know I still have a financial responsibility to my family and I am not walking away from that but I don’t need to make as much money as I do. Trevor kept saying to me “will you be happy without the trips, the dinners out and being to buy anything we want when we want?” And my answer was always that he was right. But you know what, I have all that now and I’m not happy. More money isn’t going to make that go away. But I have a pretty funny feeling that less money will make that go away. And who’s to say it will be less money, I might make just as much doing what I love. My event company just might rock this world. I will have to work harder to get the contracts and it will require many more hours of work to make the same amount of money but I am not afraid of hard work. I love hard work in fact. That’s what I don’t like about my current job anymore, I’m bored. It’s the same job day in and day out and no matter what department I work for. In events, every event is different. Every event presents a new challenge. And when I was in the government I loved the anticipation of a promotion. I loved having to work harder to outshine others. I loved having to prove myself. Well, I’m the junior here in the events world and it’s time for me to fight for my spotlight.
I am making this decision for me, not for Trevor and the girls. I have to make the best decision for me. I am afraid of disappointing them and it will be hard when we can’t have “that”. But only for the first little while. Then our focus will shift to the best things in life. Sitting around the fire pit making hot dogs over an open fire instead of having steak and shrimp in a restaurant. Camping instead of sitting in a hotel room watching tv in downtown Toronto.
I can do this!
Alright, so here it is. And I am making this public so that it forces to me to stand by my decision. I am going to turn down the full time contract I was offered. I am going to do a better job at my on-call contracts and make my regular money there because I will be able to focus on them and do the job I am supposed to be doing instead of putting them off until the last possible moment. I am going to focus on my event planning work when I have no government work. Which will mean some weeks I will have no time for it and other weeks I will have 5 full uninterrupted days to thoroughly enjoy it. I am going to search the web for event planning contracts. I am going to send out resumes to everyone I can think of who might need an event planner. I am going to take the time to read and learn everything I need to know about event planning. And the best part is, that includes spending time sifting through Pinterest. LOL… I even saw a job posting for an event planner that included “enjoy searching through Pinterest for new, innovative ideas”. How have I not picked the best job ever!! Ok, and I am going to get back to working out 4 days a week.
Now, while I have your attention. Here’s what else I’m going to do. We are getting In the Moment refocussed. We have a new website being designed and we are going to focus on exactly what I want to be doing. We are getting rid of costumes and any sales related items. We are going to focus strictly on event planning. My goal is to get into corporate events and fundraising with a side of weddings, private parties and golf tournaments of course.
So I am asking all of you for your help. Please spread the word. In the Moment and it’s owner Julia are on the prowl and we are taking on the events world by storm. We are here to make a difference one moment at a time. If you know of anyone who needs help to plan an event, large or small, please ask them to give me a chance. I promise I won’t disappoint.
Have a fantastic day everyone! I know I will.